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How this website came to be

In 2002-03 I had contributed a couple of guest pieces to the site (run by Tom), which officially kicked off my foray into “internet article writing about matrix reality/woo-woo topics.” These pieces, including “What are you going to DO with your life?!” “Harry Potter – Introduction to 4th Density?” and “What They’re Not Telling You About Death” wound up being kind of popular. I started receiving emails from people about them, and found, to my surprise, that they were being passed around the ‘net and posted on blogs and sites. Especially the Harry Potter piece, which analyzed all the mind control symbolisms and trance-induction writing techniques littered throughout the series (more prominent in the first three books….) as well as noticing how the world of Harry Potter correlates to “4th density STS.” As well as dissecting all the Egyptian/“Illuminati” symbolism.

So then flash forward to April 2004. Tom and I were living in Fort Lauderdale at that time, but visiting an acquaintance of Tom’s named Cameron. Cameron normally lived in Charlottesville, Virginia, but happened to be visiting his family in Sarasota. So we’d made the fun road trip across the state to the Gulf side to meet up and hang out for an afternoon/evening. At one point during our meetup Cameron asked me when I was going to get my own website together. He genuinely felt I should do this and that it would be interesting.

My response? I just looked at him, completely horrified.


NO, was my immediate response.

I didn’t question this aversion, just…reacted. NO WAY, NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Very defensive.

Tom and I wound up leaving Florida in September of 2004 and moving up to Charlottesville ourselves. So flash forward to the end of 2004, when all three of us were standing around chatting in the parking lot of the apartment building where Tom and I lived. And once again Cameron brought up the subject of me starting my own website. And once again my eyes got huge with that same horrified reaction as before. I literally started backing away from him. !!!! Yes, backing away from him. It was weird. I adamantly proclaimed that I’d NEVER do that!

It was after that when I had to start questioning why such the extreme adverse reaction to the idea of putting my writings together in a formal website of their own? That’s not a normal response to such an innocuous idea. On the surface level, the primary reason was….I don’t want to be one of those “crazy girls.” You know what I’m talking about. Those kinds of girls. I’d seen them on the ‘net, with their websites about all the crazy woo-woo stuff that happens to them, the abductions, the MILABS. Bad web design usually, that whole “crazy vibe” going on. The helpless victims fretting about their craziness. I don’t want to be them.

But I now believe it was much more. Because I am one of those “MILABS,” one of those “crazy girls” ;) it means there’s a lot of interference and personality tinkering going on. So that whole wide-eyed, backing-away-from-Cameron, feeling of panic at the mere mention of me organizing my stuff together? From what I understand now of the various types of programming I’ve received (detailed in my book, which is available as a free PDF download) it definitely seems to indicate a hefty dose of “NO!!!!” programming being instilled in me. I’ve had other “NO!” programming that I’ve caught, as well as threats to remain silent and such. So I know it’s a very real thing, and therefore it got me thinking.   hmmmmm…… :/ This needs to be questioned, BIG time. Don’t just accept that strange response as being my own.

So, Cameron planted the idea, and regardless of programming, we still have free will to make up our own minds. And so I began contemplating the idea that material like this can be presented in a sane and rational way. Just because other people choose to present stuff in a crazy way and be a hapless victim doesn’t mean that’s how it always has to be. And what I’d noticed in my time spent on internet forums and perusing the ‘net was that there was definitely a need for more discussion on these topics. There needs to be as many voices coming forward as possible discussing their abductions/MILABs happenings and mind control programming, not only to expose what’s happening on this planet, but to help others piece their own situations together. The more voices, the more experiences and anecdotes are put out there, the more pieces of the puzzle we all have. And on a more benign note, subjects like number synchs in particular was a biggie that was popping up all over the place. So many people seeing specific repeating numbers that seemed to literally follow them around in life. Ear tones. Deja vus. Strange and unusual synchronicities, and fluid reality. I was reading people’s “help! What’s happening and what does it all mean!” posts and giving input about it all on a few forums….so now maybe it was time to compile a website where I discuss all of these topics in one place.

In addition, I was frustrated with the existing material and “explanations” I was seeing others putting out with regards to these various subjects. So much fluffy feel-good New Age explanations that were often times completely nonsensical. So much material out there is shallow, barely even scratching the surface of what’s going on here, designed for limited thinkers and those with short attention spans. And in many cases, seeming downright phobic of acknowledging anything perceived as “negative.” None of it was doing anybody any good.

And so 2005 began. I started compiling together what would later become the main foundation for this website – write ups on ear tones, deja vus, number sightings, biorhythm activity in relation to abduction happenings, and so on. Observations taken directly from my personal log books, and theories formulated from firsthand experience. All year I worked on it off and on in a master Word document, but never could seem to get it together and actually fully finish any of the write ups. Not only that, but I didn’t even know what name I would call the website. The name is everything, but it was completely eluding me. So 2005 was a year of being in “wait mode” it seemed. For me anyway. Maybe 2005 was fireworks and excitement for you though, I don’t know. :D

During 2005 I also began taking notes for what would later become my book, “Chasing Phantoms.” I’d held off writing anything formal about abductions because I felt (and still do) that I don’t know enough about it all to be writing anything. Who am I to even try to come up with theories?? I don’t even have definitive answers about my own situation…and I’m supposed to try to help others?? Yeah, okay. (And when having that thought, those were in fact the exact words going through my mind….as if I were “answering something back” that was trying to nudge me in that direction.) BUT, the handwritten notes existed on lined notebook paper scattered about on the floor of the living room. Someday….

Then in October of 2005 I found my site name. It inadvertently came from a guy named Jeff that Tom and I had gotten to know from Tom’s then-message board forum, becoming off-forum buddies with him. Under Jeff’s handle name on the forum it said,

From: In Two Worlds.

in two worlds.

That was it!!!!!! Nothing so perfectly captured the feel of what my material was trying to convey than that. It was absolutely perfect in every way. Tom helped research which versions of it were still available for purchase and then we officially bought my future domain name, on October 10, 2005.   10/10. I talk about “1010” in my Dreamtime and Waking Life – Two Sides of the Same Coin write up, and my instances of getting the silver dimes and 1010’s. I don’t think it was a coincidence that I got 1010’d back when I first began considering doing a website, then wound up officially purchasing the domain name (cementing it all) on 10/10 itself. So now I had the site name…..I just needed to get the actual site material finished, which just wasn’t happening.

Then December 2005 hit. A full year since I’d started trying to originally write the material. Tom and I happened to be out one Friday evening at a local coffeehouse downtown called Milano. We left at 6:30 p.m., wondering what to do next. Go home? Hang out downtown? Then Tom remembered……there was going to be a – free – “crystal bowl tuning” thing at Quest Books across the street at 7:00. Tonight.

Oh yeah, I remembered. He’d mentioned it before and it had sounded interesting. It’s where a person takes these quartz crystal bowls of different sizes that “play” different tones. The bowl person lightly taps the various bowls with a padded stick of sorts, then moves the stick around the edge of the bowl, creating the reverberating tones. Some of the bowls are also titanium or gold plated, and tuning forks are used as well. It’s the whole “healing with sound vibration” thing. I’ve heard the sound of crystal bowls before but had never experienced a formal session with it all. Since we just so happened to be across the street, and didn’t have any scheduled plans, and it sounded so interesting, AND was free on top of it, off we went.

With our coffees in hand we took our seats inside Quest amongst the 15 or so other people. The man who would be doing the bowl tuning was named M__ (decided to blank out his name as I recently found out that he prefers to remain low key….) who wore a white robe lined in gold thread that made him look Atlantean-esque. I had no preconceived ideas about it all since I don’t typically partake in group gathering “new age-y” types of activities, and was just going along for the ride. M___ explained everything to us, the lights were dimmed, and soon the show began.

WELL………..roughly an hour later I was in a light trance-like state, and every cell of my body was vibrating. I felt better than I ever have in my entire life. Ever. Period. !! Yes, it was like that. The tones reverberate through the air, surrounding you and passing through you, affecting you down to the cellular level from the inside out. I had no idea that such a thing was possible to do to the body, that we could even feel this way. It took me almost a half an hour to fully emerge from the trance-y state I was in, however the positive affects that the tones created with my body lasted for days afterward. It’s like being in the most relaxed, calm and balanced state you could ever hope to be in, and like you can feel your cells buzzing.

If everybody got “bowled” once a week, we’d all be in tip-top mental and physical form, that’s all I can say. M__ (who can see auras) told Tom and I after the session that many people’s auras will be absolutely radiating off of them after experiencing the bowls. A big part of the success of this particular bowling probably involved the types of bowls M__ was using. He didn’t just have a couple of crystal bowls. He had amassed well over 25 different bowls of all different sizes and colors, from very large/deep low tone, on up to very small/high tone, and consisting of materials that included not only the different variations of quartz, but things like gold, titanium and even Moldavite. A rare, expensive and exotic collection. So it was definitely a privilege to be able to be bowled, for free, from such an impressive and rare collection, the likes of which we’ll probably never encounter again with anybody else. Tom and I theorize that certain bowls probably provide better and more noticeable results than others. But I’ll never know which specific bowl(s) would have been the ones that did the trick for me, since M__ rotated through a wide array of his collection during the tuning and we all had our eyes closed, in the mostly dark while he did so. The other thing to note is that audio recordings of crystal bowls don’t have any effect. They sound pleasant, sure, but they don’t do anything to us physically on a cellular level. You have to be there in person, experiencing the real thing emitting real vibrations that can pass through your body.

But the very next day after the “bowling,” as I call it, the material for this site just began….pouring out. For the rest of December and all of January of ’06 it was like the floodgates had been unblocked and I was able to finish all the incomplete pieces that had been kicking around for the past year…and then some beyond that. Typing madly every day, I generated the foundation for this site, came up with a site design/color scheme idea (the orange/red desert against bright blue sky thing has always appealed very strongly to me, not sure why) and by February 2006, “in2worlds” was up and running, thanks to the web design skillz of Tom. :) And the the first version of the book was done and available online by July.

And really, it’s all because of those bowls. If I hadn’t gotten bowled when I did, this site probably never would have happened. All things in their right time I guess. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be before that. Who knows.

So anyway, that’s the story, in case anybody’s curious about how it all came to be. It almost didn’t, and it feels to me that this is the only timeline out of all my timelines where this website is happening. It’s a bit weird. Truthfully I still have mixed feelings about it all, like, How did I wind up here…doing this? It doesn’t necessarily feel wrong, but, sometimes I ponder the other time line possibilities, and have wondered whether I’d still do it all again if I found myself back in time, at the fork-in-the-road juncture. I’m not sure, can’t make up my mind on that one. But the fact that I even think about it is telling. Means the answer isn’t an enthusiastic “yes.” It really is like positive stuff spent a lot of time standing behind me giving me repeated kicks in the butt to get me motivated enough to follow through with it all. To get me where I am was like trying to pound a square peg into a round hole. A lot of serious timeline manipulation, of which I’ve witnessed parts of and mention here and there in various writings. If anybody has read either my book, or “The Vortex” write up or my “Thoughts” section, then they’ll probably understand what I’m talking about. It’s like taking a train that’s on one set of tracks and getting it to switch over 25 more sets of tracks to be waaaaay over there instead. Or like I’ve also described it, it was a lot like the universe bopped me on the head one day in the late 90’s and said “Tag! Your timeline is it!” Then the three ring circus music cued up and the rest is history.