Or….doing my best to try to correctly interpret the spate of out of control synchs, numbers, anomalous body markings and all around woo-woo that erupted in our lives the moment we decided to move back to south Florida….
by Carissa Conti
© November 18, 2012
Prior to my idea of “LET’S MOVE BACK TO FLORIDA! I WANT THE BEACH AND SUN AND NO WINTER AGAIN!!! I WANT TO ROLLERBLADE UP AND DOWN HOLLYWOOD BEACH AND GO PARASAILING AND SNORKELING AND RIDE MY BIKE OVER SEVEN MILE BRIDGE IN THE KEYS!!!” my little pocket sized log book that I keep in my backpack was sparse. After that decision the book just blew up. Ear tones, synchronicities and number stuff up the wazoo. It was nuts. And some were a little mind boggling, as you’ll see. If anything it showed that one of theories put forth by Carl Jung seems to have validity: that synchronicities often tend to manifest during times when one’s reality is in flux. Well, you don’t get a bigger flux in one’s reality then quitting a job that one has been at for almost four years, and up and moving to another state when one has been living in their current state for eight years. (and in the same one apartment for that entire time as well.)
Back when we lived in Florida eight years ago it was in Fort Lauderdale. This time Tom wanted to go to Delray Beach, or at least somewhere nearby in the surrounding vicinity in Palm Beach County, which is anywhere from 17-30 miles north of Fort Lauderdale. It’s a tad quieter and definitely nicer in Palm Beach County versus Broward, and it’s the richest county in the entire state of Florida to boot. So, he has good taste. ;)
The move was basically my idea, though Tom and I were both in agreement that at the bare minimum we wanted to leave the apartment we’d been living in for the last eight years. He said that staying another year in this place was not really going to be doable for him (psychologically and physically), and we need to go. Which I totally understand and support. And on a scale of 1-10, he was ready to leave Charlottesville, and Virginia in general, at about an 8 when we first talked about it. Which would mean that I would need to quit my job…which I don’t like anyway and which I felt was killing me on all levels. The longer I stayed the more I felt like I was literally losing my marbles. But it paid me the most money I’ve ever made in my life and allowed for some big savings build up. Go figure. Isn’t that how it usually goes? (Though the fact is, I knew since the beginning that I was never going to be able to be one of those people who’s there for like, 15, 20, 25, 30 years, some old biddy whose personal reality has gotten really small and stagnant, until I finally retire, a shell of who I used to be when I first started. Basically like everybody else there who finally decided to crawl away after 25 and 30 years. And in the four years I’d worked there trust me, I’d seen my fair share, including my coworker that I worked side by side with who was approaching her 28th year. To say her reality had gotten really narrow was putting it mildly. O.o ) I knew I’d only be there for as long as it suited some personal higher agenda……though I didn’t know what that was yet or how it would all play out. And since Tom works for himself he can literally relocate anywhere he wants, he doesn’t have some power career that he’s chained to. So he’s flexible, which is great. We both were also in agreement that we felt like we needed to get to a place with more sun and no winter. Maybe not permanently, but at least for a bit of time. He’d been experiencing cumulative health ailments over the past few years that seemed to possibly stem from a vitamin D deficiency. (And no, taking Vitamin D supplements by itself isn’t enough to rectify a situation like that. One apparently needs real sun, plus the supplements.) And at the core I’m a tropical beach person. White sand and palm tree riddled tropical beach/tropical blue green ocean imagery, sea shells, tropical fish, dolphins, coral and other marine life is the only environment that’s consistently resonated with me my entire life, dating back to being a young child. I was always drawing pictures of it, had my sea shell collection, and my painted bamboo picture of a Hawaiian beach and palm tree hanging on my closet door, you name it, even though we lived far inland in semi-rural Connecticut. And since living in Charlottesville I hadn’t been to a beach now in eight years. So, we were both on the same page in terms of what we wanted in life at the moment and where we wanted to relocate.
Also, I theorized that living in a different area of south Florida this time (should we go through with moving back) would mean that our experience wouldn’t necessarily be like what it had been the first time we lived there. In fact one of the first things that an acquaintance named Brian asked me when I mentioned moving back to Florida was to wonder if we were scared that all the weird harassment and woo woo phenomenon that I mention on my website and in my book from our first time in Florida would come back into our lives. My answer was basically…………….no. For starters as I explained, I don’t live my life with fear, and I would never not do something that I want to do merely because I’m scared of some mysterious “thems” force. Now, to be clear it doesn’t mean I’m completely reckless (well, at least not anymore…..me in my 20s is an entirely different situation…..) and that I would ignore clear cut danger to my life. However there’s a difference between that, and then “what-if” fear, letting the possibility of something that may not even happen deter you, hiding away in your residence curled up in a scared little ball, not even living your life and thus allowing “stuff” to win. That I will not abide by. Plus, as mentioned at the end of Part II in my book, the overt woo woo harassment stuff that used to happen to us was already mostly stopped by the end of our time in Fort Lauderdale, most likely because we had changed so much in a short period of time due to awareness. So if it had already pretty much stopped while we were still living there, I’m not worried about it somehow “coming back” eight years later. Our mindsets were completely different now in life, let alone how we already were by the end of our time in Florida the first go around. It wasn’t going to be possible for what had once happened to us to happen again, because what had gone on before relied on ignorance/non-awareness, fear and paranoia for its power.
Besides, instead of scaring me I actually enjoyed the idea of going back and giving it all another go, testing things out and seeing what happens. Basically a “hee hee hee!” mentality, like Yeah, let’s go, let’s see what happens! The total opposite mentality of hiding away in a scared little ball, not living my life because of what-if fear based scenarios.
However, despite my wild ideas, determination, persistence and daredevil nature, I’m still not (entirely) stupid. And ultimately if something is a really bad idea, where you will be getting yourself grossly off track from some destiny path, then as Tom and I both have learned over the years, you will receive obstacles and problems in your way. Every time I’ve ever pushed my way down some ill-fated path that was not in my best interest I received very obvious obstacles and issues trying to prevent me from going further….but which in my ignorant youth, I usually ignored. And then paid the price for afterwards. (I wrote about some of the more interesting examples of this in my free e-book “Miscellaneous Stories of the Weird and Unusual,” to illustrate, in the section about being in and out of the flow with your reality.) Basically things will not fall into place or work out smoothly. You’ll be fighting it every step of the way, totally out of the flow. And oddly enough, none of that happened for us. Though we were definitely looking for it. I figured, even if I didn’t somehow get obstacles or signs then Tom would, bare minimum. He’s all about the dream indicators in particular, he’s good with getting those. You know, if it’s not meant to be and all. But in the end it all just fell together for both of us.
But it doesn’t mean there still wasn’t some major weirdness. ;)
And that’s where the confusion began.
Now, I’m not some expert on numbers, synchs, ear tones, deja vus, signs, symbols, anomalous bodily markings, etc., I’ve just written things about it all for my website over the years, trying my best to make heads or tails of what it could all mean. In the end I concluded there probably isn’t one across-the-board explanation for it all that would fit every single person out there. Though there does seem to be patterns in the chaos. However for as much as even I think I “know,” what began transpiring confused even me. I didn’t know how to interpret what was happening here. While we didn’t have any overt obstacles blocking us from proceeding with our plans, and everything fell into place smoothly, and there were no obvious signs that “THIS IS THE TOTALLY WRONG PATH FOR YOU TO BE ON!!! TURN BACK, BEFORE IT’S TOO LAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!” at the very beginning of our plan all kinds of weirdness erupted, including a few bizarro (and painful) scratches and bruises that began appearing on my body.
I decided it could be a good idea to give this all its own specific write up, versus trying to incorporate it all into the already existing separate write ups throughout my website, including my main article on synchronicities. It’s an example of the weird woo-woo that can happen when one decides to create major disruption in their life, with tentative ideas about how to dissect it all following afterwards.
First we’ll start with what exactly started happening:
- February 2012. (didn’t get the specific date.) Was talking to the temp named Valerie who was filling in with me at the front desk for my colleague T___ who was out on leave for six weeks, and I mentioned my whole desire to be in Key West at that moment. I don’t even know why I was mentioning it to her, and kind of wondered to myself at the time as I said it. But as soon as I did her whole face immediately lit up and she said, “Carissa…….Key West is my all time favorite place!” I just looked at her and said “What??? Noooo….” She nodded and insisted, It is! In fact, she even has a Key West key chain on her ring, look…..then reaches down and proceeds to pull out her wad of keys from her purse, and sure enough there’s the big “Key West” key chain hanging off of them. She smiles and holds it up for me to see. Not one of the big mind boggling synchs, but still a weird “coincidence” nonetheless. To even dissect this synch one needs to go back to the very beginning, of where/when/how I had the idea to head south again in the first place. Basically it was just there in my head one morning out of nowhere, sometime in February (2012.) Didn’t keep track of the date. But I got to work, was logged onto my computer, had no work to do, the phone wasn’t ringing, and nobody else was in the office yet. And suddenly there it was, just in my head. “Key West.” From there it was on, and next thing you know I’m touring around Key West virtually courtesy of Google Street View and just soaking up the scenery through my computer, wishing to be there as the day outside was cold and gloomy and dark, which soon led to having the idea of moving back to Florida in general, since I was tired of Virginia and just over my current life in general.
However, I’ll get into this specific item more detail at the end of this piece….
- March 13, 2012. I’d been on Google Street View, touring around Delray Beach for fun during my down time at work. (my continued obsession with “wanting to move back to Florida and visiting there virtually via street view”…) Then I was away from my computer for over an hour doing a project. When I came back to my computer I maximized Street View, which was still down at street level, and I moved forward down the road I was on. (mimicking the idea of “driving.”) Then suddenly I had the urge to pull back up and out of Street View, to the Map View, to see where I was on the map. And looking back at me was “Carissa Road.” I actually jumped slightly in my chair, my eyes bugging out, seeing my own – not very common – name staring right back at me. I thought WHAT?!?!? It took a few seconds to process it. I did a screen cap and sent it to a couple of people. But the odds on this are amazing. I was just randomly “driving” down streets, and then had the weird urge/nudge to pull up out of street view at the exact moment I got to “Carissa Road.” And the fact that there even is a “Carissa Road” in Delray Beach was strange to me too. Just seems like a weird name for a street. (after we did finally move back down to south Florida Tom got pictures of me standing in front of this sign. :) )
- April 23, 2012. Was on my lunch break at work, and it was lightly raining and chilly and gloomy. Normally I don’t go walking down the entire span of the downtown pedestrian mall anymore on my lunch, and hadn’t in who knows how long. But on this particular day I decided to walk all the way to the end, mainly to get out and walk off the negative energy of my job and get some fresh air, even despite the weather. While walking back towards my job I was thinking about Florida, of course, and the warm tropical beaches, when something caught my attention out of the corner of my right eye with regards to one of the homeless panhandlers. I glanced back over at him and focused in on the sign that the guy had up, and realized it said “Trying to get to Florida – Any bit helps” If I hadn’t decided to go walk down the mall, something I never normally did anymore, then this wouldn’t have lined up to coincide with my thoughts about “getting to Florida.”
- May 10, 2012. I was at work, and my boss – who wasn’t even supposed to be there that day since he’d taken the day off – had come in anyway in the afternoon to get some miscellaneous work done. Before leaving he wound up sitting in one of the chairs in our office/waiting area, chatting with a department head, and their conversation meandered around all over the place. Eventually I overhead the other guy saying to my boss “….converting Charlottesville to Delray Beach…” I perked up like WHAT?? looking over towards them. Basically they were now discussing the nice urban design of downtown Delray Beach, Florida (which btw is 1,000 miles away, and is only one of about a bezillion beach front communities rimming the coast of Florida….), which has received a lot of accolades I take it from urban planners, and joking about modeling Charlottesville after it. Of all the places to be talking about in the world, in front of me of all people, and on the day when the boss wasn’t even supposed to be in the office. What are the odds.
- June 7, 2012. At about 4:10 in the afternoon Tom and I took an impromptu trip to a local coffeehouse called Cville Coffee to read and get cold drinks. (middle of a heat wave.) We get there and I pick one of the tables alongside one of the walls that has a large book shelf full of complimentary reading material. (Cville Coffee has two walls of books that people have donated and which encompass a mish mash of totally random subjects.) As we settled into our table I turned to my right to see what titles were close by us, and staring straight back at me at eye level was the “AAA Guide to Florida Travel.”
Then there was the general proliferation of “words lining up” synchs that were absolutely out of control during this time period (in fact I’d be logging them, and in doing so MORE words would be lining up as I wrote. O.o Like reality was folding over on itself or something….) as well as number sightings, ear tones and even a deja vu mixed up throughout, spanning from March to May. Words that lined up during this specific “I want to quit my job and move to Florida” time period, as noted in my log book (sometimes on top of each other while logging) included: possible/possibly, judge, plan, daughter, walking, details, problem, Virginia, phone, time, drama, park and story.
Then I had the kinds of synchs that related to subjects appearing around me in reality, where after thinking about something or reading about it, it would immediately appear in a strange way in my reality around me. Those few included argyle, bricks/brick/Brixx and napalm. Those types of synchs are always interesting to me, because they point to the idea of “time flowing backward” as mentioned in my Synchs write up. Whether that idea is true or not, I don’t know, but one has to wonder what it was that gave you the idea to seek out a certain video on YouTube, or listen to a certain song, etc., that would have a specific and unusual element in it, that would then pop up in your reality immediately afterwards in an unrelated way, like in an online news story, or a book you’re reading, etc. It kind of really is almost like the “ping” to do or read or seek something out is being influenced by the immediate future, flowing backwards.
There was also one kind of crazy synch situation where I was compiling an email to somebody where I mentioned that one supposed quote from Hitler, talking about the vision he’d had of some entity/being that scared the crap out of him and which was his inspiration for the things he did…..and I called up Tom at home to see if he knew where I could find the exact quote that described what he’d experienced. And it turns out that Tom had that exact passage loaded up on his computer at that exact moment, because it pertained to something he himself was emailing somebody about. This completely flabbergasted me.
Then there were the numbers. All the usual ones mentioned in my Number Sightings write up, along with several instances of 777 in particular. The 777’s would usually happen on my car’s odometer, usually when I was driving around doing things I wouldn’t normally be doing, which then led to the odometer aligning at 777 at the exact moment I was parking. The first time it happened and I looked down at my odometer as I parked I was like, Oh look, how weird. But the second? Then I was like, hmmm…….
And last, but definitely not least, all these synchs and numbers were preceded by the spate of anomalous scratches and bruises that had begun appearing on my body back in February. For me, this was the creepiest aspect of the entire scenario. Numbers, synchs and such, as “!!!” as they can be, can still be seen as just “neutral.” Bodily harm however, in the form of nasty scratches or totally out there bruising creating obnoxious geometric designs? That’s not something you can just shove aside and play down. You have to stop and ponder on it all, whether you want to or not, and yeah, it can be really scary. It’s alarming to find marks of that level on one’s body that seem to have appeared out of nowhere with absolutely no possible logical explanation. The ones in particular that appeared on my body during this time period (which you’ll also see photos of in the above linked write up) include:
…the big long nasty looking scratch on my upper right arm (February 13, 2012) that seemed to basically appear out of nowhere:
….the three parallel scratches under my right knee (February 20, 2012)
…and the crazy dark purple round bruise with the prominent cross design stamped in the middle of it (March 1, 2012).
So like I said…..reality started going bonkers for me the second I decided to quit the job (that had energetically drained me and had slowly changed me into a different/negative person after four years) and leave the state altogether and go on a semi-permanent vacation.
The entire thing caused a lot of distress on my part in terms of trying to make heads or tails of what was going on here, and whether it was good or bad and how we should be interpreting this. A lot of people would probably think, well, just scrap your plans to move, and solve that problem. But what if that’s what “stuff” wanted me to do? What if it wanted me to get scared and back down? I’ll get back to that point in a little bit.
Our aforementioned acquaintance named Brian told me that in his opinion, synchronicities aren’t necessarily positive or negative. They just are, and they’re a reflection about things happening in one’s reality more so than possessing an actual positive or negative meaning or intent behind them. I still believe in the idea of neg manipulation, and thus, neg synchs, as I have experience and personal proof of that in my own reality. But I took into consideration what he said in terms of analyzing what was happening in this particular case. Maybe these synchs weren’t conveying a positive or negative message or indicating negative interference per se, so much as they were happening merely because the timeline was in some serious flux. There was no doubt that on certain days when I was thinking I may scrap my agreed upon plan for when I was going to give my two week notice and instead do it now…right now, just give notice and be atta here ASAP!!…..then the ear tones and synchs and numbers would ramp up.
Hindsight ultimately proves the most useful though in being able to figure something out, if one is willing to take the risk of pressing forward in order to see what happens. And yes, it’s definitely a risk when one’s entire life situation is on the line. O.o Back in February when the weird bodily marks started appearing the move was still an idea, something far off. Though I was very antsy to get the plan into motion NOW, to put it mildly. I’d come home from my job completely frustrated and impatient, sometimes downright furious, because when I want something I want it NOW. I don’t want to wait, and I don’t like to be blocked. I don’t have patience. (why hello there, Scorpio Sun, Mars and Venus, Leo Rising, Year of the Tiger. O.o ) And my job was growing increasingly more annoying to me with every passing day, which was causing the frustrated and impatient fury. The issue was compounded by the fact that Tom, as much as he would like to go, wasn’t ready just yet financially. He needed more time to get his financial affairs in order, to the tune of late summer/early fall. Well there I am in like, mid-March, ready to bail out NOW, so no, that didn’t go over very well. :D To the point where I did actually consider the idea of taking my cat and bailing out on our own, where he can catch up later and join us whenever he finally gets his stuff together. Though that idea never even came close to being put into motion. Basically I did my best to bear down and hold tight, hang in there, be patient, ruling out the possibility of forging ahead on my own. I eventually realized the compromise would be to stick around at my job until early to mid July, then take the rest of the summer off to recuperate and prep for the move, then relocate – with Tom, together – in the fall, when he’s ready. So February came and went, as did March and April, on into the beginning of May. (in the middle of this you have to also factor in the write up in my ‘Thoughts’ section concerning the anomalous time period of March and April that a lot of people apparently experienced, where March had a feeling on intense, depressive, foreboding doom, where people felt like we just needed to see if we “can make it to April,” complete with the urge for survivalism preparation; and then where April arrived and the sense of doom lifted, like whatever was supposed to happen was averted or changed, along with the sensation of time flying in a freakishly fast way to the point that several of us felt like we’d “lost a week” and had all around time confusion.)
The bodily markings were no longer happening by this point, the last of the majorly obvious scary ones that I remember and photographed was March 1st. Though the synchs and numbers were continuing in full force.
Then by May I realized I wasn’t going to be able to hang in there at my job until July. What was interesting about it too was the way in which my coworker pulled a stunt that caused me to bump everything up. Originally she was planning to take a vacation in mid-July, which I couldn’t care less about because as far as I was concerned I’d be out of there by that point. Then on Friday May 18th I got back from lunch (where I was already contemplating whether or not to just go ahead and give my notice that afternoon, but then changing my mind again) and settled into my desk. After a few minutes my coworker turned to me, and with a fake sounding overly smooth voice that indicated she knew she was up to no good, she let me know that “Oh yeah Carissa, and I just found out that me and D____ are going to be able to have the beach house [Virginia Beach] for a week in June. It’s an opportunity we couldn’t pass up. So I’ll be going on vacation the week of June 4th.” Then she also casually let me know about her work that I was going to have to cover for her while she took this impromptu vacation of hers. Never asked whether it worked with my schedule, the way I would have done with her. Didn’t ask if I could help her with her work. Just…told me I would be. Even though she’s not my supervisor, and even though we’re supposed to basically be equals at the front desk, a team that’s supposed to work together.
Readers would have to know the entire four year history of what I went through with this coworker of mine and her staggering lack of work ethics, to put it mildly, but basically this was the last straw. Four years of her coming in late (and by late I mean an hour, hour and a half) skipping out early, taking 1 1/2 – 3 hour lunches, disappearing from the desk for 20 minutes, half an hour, sometimes 45 minutes at a time, several times a day, to go flit around and socialize with friends around the building, scheduling endless doctor/chiropractor/physical therapy/dentist/personal appointments and court dates that always seemed to coincidentally take place around 2 in the afternoon so it was obviously “logical” to leave after 1 and then take the rest of the afternoon off for them; non-stop personal phone calls to where sometimes she’s juggling both her cell phone and desk phone at the same time, as well as helping to run her boyfriend’s contractor business from her desk. Of which included dropping whatever she was doing and leaving the office to run errands for him whenever he demanded it. (and he demanded a lot, often. In fact most of the court dates she had to attend were stuff relating to him and either his contractor business or his ex wife and their ongoing custody dispute. Stuff that had nothing to do with her, but which she was tasked with taking care of.) That’s not even counting the way the previous year she took not one, but three vacations total. Management didn’t care, nothing ever was done to fix the problem, and I was always left filling in for her. Meanwhile as she made at least twice the salary I did, yet, was probably only ever at her desk half the time she was scheduled. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of the situation with my then-job, haven’t even gotten into my coworker’s horrible personality problems (some of which included spreading bad gossip about coworkers and pitting people against each other, to the point of even lying if need be to try to get someone mad at another, all for her own personal amusement. She was 48/49 going on 14. I’ve never really seen anything like it in terms of a woman her age, behaving so immaturely.)
I had been so sure and confident that I wouldn’t be stuck in a position of having to cover her on vacation, doing all of my job as well as hers, being the administrative assistant to both her Big Cheese and my own Big Cheese, as well as answering the busy switchboard and helping the constant stream of walk ins with endless questions and people there for meetings that I just stared at her blankly as she let this bomb drop with the super sweet and fake “I know I’m up to no good” voice. Inside I was like “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” but on the outside I showed nothing. Keeping my cool I gave a faint nod like, Yeah, sure, whatever, then turned back to my computer. (why hello there, Virgo moon and three planets in balanced Libra trying to counter the rest of the crazy astrological energy. :D ) Then she trotted off to lunch.
Needless to say, within the hour I was submitting my resignation letter to our boss, effective Friday May 18th, with my last day in two weeks being Friday, June 1st. I would not be covering her on vacation. Nor doing one little bit of her work. She came back to lunch surprisingly after only about an hour, a rarity, though immediately disappeared from her desk for yet another unexplained absence for over a half an hour. Then finally returned at about 2:40, and mentioned that Um, she thinks she’s going to leave early today, at say about 3. Meanwhile having no idea I’d given my notice while she was out and that her whole work life was about to get ugly. I just nodded casually, like sure, no problem. :) Letting her be on her way, thinking I was her chump. Have a good weekend, I said. Thanks! she responded, gathering up her stuff, happy to be on her way. Being that she never checked in with our boss before doing whatever she felt like doing, and acted as if she answered to nobody, she wasn’t able to hear from him before leaving that I’d given my notice. And off she ran to go start her weekend, assuming all was right with the world. :)
But the second I gave my notice, thus cementing the future, and at least one major timeline anyway, the synchs and numbers pretty much ground to a halt. Not completely, but they drastically curtailed. Very interesting indeed.
I did worry that I was cutting off my nose to spite my face, but ultimately I was completely miserable there, it had totally changed me into a different person, I no longer engaged in any of my old hobbies, or kept up with any of my spiritual practices. I’d just come home from work, mentally wiped out, pissed off and going in endless frustrated circles in my mind about various work-related things, often times venting to Tom about it like a lunatic, and in general had become good for nothing other than zoning out watching movies and drinking and playing video games. I’d hear myself going on and on about whatever work-related thing, thinking “shut up carissa! god, listen to yourself, this is pathetic…” and yet I couldn’t seem to stop. My world had gotten very small, and the longer I had to sit next to my coworker and be around her personality influence, and the longer I worked at that extreme “matrix” level mainstream job, the worse and worse I was getting. It just got to the point of “shit or get off the pot” basically. Either finally DO something and take action about this situation, or shut up. There you have it. Make a choice. So I did. And I walked away from a very prestigious, high paying position that as my now former boss even noted, “should hopefully open some doors” for me wherever I move off to next. But all the while I still shake my head at what almost seems like a tug-of-war situation happening on a higher level. There I was originally planning to duck out by mid-July, avoiding having to cover yet another vacation for my co-worker from hell, and then she turns around and bumps it up to June 4th??? Ensuring that I would have no choice but to go through the week of hell? Interesting. (And no, she had no idea I was planning to leave by mid-July, in case people are wondering if she changed the date on purpose for that reason, because when she finally learned from our boss on Monday May 21st that I was leaving, she ran around freaking out to various people around the building afterwards. :D teehee Totally had no clue I was leaving, never saw that one coming even despite the fact I had mentioned on multiple occasions that I was most likely going to eventually leave and go back to Florida. But she didn’t take it seriously, thought it was just grandiose ideas and big talk. She was so shocked and pissed in fact that she tried to get people to be against me and choose her side (seriously, how strange and juvenile is that? Choose sides over what exactly? People leave jobs and move on everyday. That’s normal.) But most weren’t having it, and refused to get pulled in as they relayed to me, which infuriated her even more.) So yeah, having the “opportunity” to bump her vacation up to June 4th just “coincidentally” happened. I had to wonder if some other force was at work, pulling strings, determined to make me suffer through covering her on vacation, or if it’s just some giant coincidence. Or, if it was something else. (I get into the other possibility in a short bit.)
The next strange (and also depressing in this case) event to happen in this weird saga was how two weeks into my vacation, in mid-June, I finally brought my 12 1/2 year old cat Kitty to the vet’s to have a lump in her mammaries inspected. It had first developed months back but stayed small for awhile until finally getting too big to ignore. Also inquired about another new found issue she seemed to be having with peeing mass amounts of urine (diabetes? kidneys?) that had only just started happening within that two week span of my vacation. And when it was all said and done the diagnosis was malignant mammary carcinomas, as well as the beginnings of kidneys starting to not work right anymore. Treatment was either via “very expensive” surgeries, as the vet described them, that didn’t guarantee to help her (more tumors could just keep popping up after, and the vet said they most likely would as she had seen that happen before….) and which would be a huge risk to her considering she apparently had a “very enlarged heart,” as noted on the X-ray, that may not even survive a full anesthesia surgery; chemotherapy (out of the question, as far as I was concerned) which was also not guaranteed to work anyway and just put the cat through suffering that she wouldn’t understand; or, just let it run its course. :/
There’s a LOT to say about this subject, but I’m just going to skim the surface. But despite the diagnosis, I still believed Kitty had until the end of the year, probably even until next year, because she seemed in good spirits otherwise. You couldn’t tell anything was wrong with her if you didn’t see the lump, or know she was drinking up entire bowls of water and peeing mass amounts of urine. Kitty was totally incorporated into our move plans, and I already had a list of pet-friendly motels and hotels for Palm Beach and Broward Counties for when we first arrived in Florida and were staying in a motel while apartment hunting, and had already researched where the vets were in the region, and even spent hours one night researching 24 hour emergency vet clinics located near I-95 in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and into Florida, in the event anything happened while en route during our move.
You can have your plans, but life has its own ideas.
During the last couple of days of August, after giving our 30 day notice to our landlords, Kitty’s tumor took a turn for the worse, including a new tumor sprouting up, and with her kidneys becoming slightly worse, indicating they were progressively going downhill, a lot faster than expected. Without getting into gory details of what the tumor situation entailed, I’ll just say that her last day was September 5, 2012, and she had the most peaceful passing one could hope for, with at-home euthanasia from a vet that makes house calls. Her last week, despite the tumor issue, including her last morning, was very pleasant for her and that was very important for me. But in the end I just could not believe this was happening the way it was. What were the odds of her developing cancer, then having to be put down, all before we were planning to up and make a huge move like that? Again, it’s a huge subject, and there’s a lot to say about it all, but I’m just skimming the surface.
In the end I’ve had to conclude there’s a reason for what’s happening here, though what it is remains to be seen. Maybe the world really will “end” at the end of the year. Or if not, maybe some major upheavals are going to start taking place going into the near future. If so, it’s best she’s not here in the middle of it. Or maybe there’s no reason for any of it at all, and it’s all just random chance and chaos. :/ At the bare minimum I’m glad she didn’t have to be subjected to a big move. She would have hated it anyway. She spent the last 8 years of her life in a nice environment in Virginia with no disruptions, and died totally in peace.
So, the following is what we’ve tentatively concluded about things here, though it could be totally off base. Though only time will tell ultimately.
Regarding my urge out of nowhere to look up Key West that one fateful morning at work, which set into motion the entire idea about moving in general: for the entire rest of the year I went in circles about this, trying to dissect whether it was mind control programming/subliminal messages or what, only because me of all people is aware of such things and lectures people in my book and on my website to always pay close attention to, and question one’s thoughts, because they may not be your own. At this point though I have a theory. Being that Key West was such a focal point of the temp – who had started working there during the end of January, and throughout all of February – and also considering that “moving to Florida” in general was one of her goals, as she loved it so much and her elderly retired parents were already living down there whom she was very close to – means it’s very likely that I was actually psychically picking up on something that strongly surrounded her in her field, which could have been lingering around her even when she wasn’t sitting at her desk. I don’t know. But this entire thing is probably not a synch so much as the result of psychic abilities. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve read somebody’s mind and picked up on things that surround or define them in some way. Or the second, third or fourth…..
Factor in the way in which the idea of moving back to Florida was a seed that was actually originally planted in my mind back in October 2011. I was reading a story in a local free indie newspaper about how one of the department heads at my job was resigning from his position and moving to Key West. I remember sitting at Christian’s Pizza on the downtown Mall reading that story on my lunch break and being excited for him for just quitting this mega paying job and heading off for Key West for physical and mental health reasons, as he told the interviewer in the paper. I was like, YOU GO, DUDE! YEAH!!!! (I did get to talk to him just before he left, and complimented him on his move.) Then flash forward to four months later when I’m working side by side with a temp whose all time fave place is Key West and who always has Florida on the brain. And so what was at first just an idea to pass the day at my job in the middle of winter soon morphed into an actual plan of sorts to quit the job and relocate. Which for me never had a bad intuition surrounding it, and neither did it for Tom. Though I certainly had intellectual doubt and worry.
And maybe that’s where “stuff” tried to hijack things. Because as Tom said, maybe it was always in our destiny to go back, and/or at least okay with our higher selves to go back for the time being, but………..doesn’t mean something can’t try to hijack that plan and get you to sabotage yourself and ruin it. ;) Hence, the sudden spate of marks all over my body indicating that I was getting roughed up, possibly programmed as well, based on the seriously massive impatience on my part to just leave NOW!!!! Even if it meant not waiting for Tom who wasn’t yet ready financially. I overrode those urges though as previously mentioned, and waited things out until the fall, versus the premature hijacked version. And now we’re here together, and so far everything’s fine.
Meanwhile, being that our reality was facing the serious potential for upheaval, in comes the crazy synchs and numbers and other weird happenings where reality began “aligning” as I call it. And like our acquaintance Brian noted, maybe the synchs weren’t positive or negative in nature, they just are. The by-product of a reality in flux. And again it is very interesting that the second the decision was officially made, and the timeline was cemented, the storm ceased, and everything got quiet again. But that’s because, as Tom and I would come to figure out, synchs happen due to quantum principles, relating to the “Wave vs. Particle” experiment. At the end of 2014 I completely rewrote my Synchronicities article incorporating this information into the rewrite, but the gist is that when one’s reality is in serious flux, due to willfully exerting one’s own freewill to change the direction/course of the timeline that they’re on, synchronicities typically manifest. While the potential for change is in flux, the synchs happen as a by-product of being in between two timelines, basically, which parallels the famous “wave…vs. particle” experiment. Whether the photon/electron particle is observed going through the slots or not determines how it manifests on the other side. If it’s observed it manifests as a definitive particle. It exists. Its reality has been solidified. If it’s not observed, thus leaving the possibility up in the air, it manifests as a wave. Because its existence has not been solidified. Once the decision to change my timeline from Virginia to Florida was solidified, the synchs and crazines stopped. Because the decision was made. It was now a particle, so to speak, not a wave. I was no longer indecisively straddling two vastly different timelines with vastly different outcomes, and reality calmed down as a result. (I would recommend reading the “Synchs” article for more insight and explanation into this if it interests readers. While it contains anecdotal bits as illustration, it’s organized in an article format complete with bullet point lists, and is not meandering around all over the place like this more informal piece. :D )
It was quite a tangled mess to decipher though, I gotta say. And as mentioned, a lot of people may have gotten so spooked at the beginning with the bodily marks appearing out of nowhere that they would have forfeited all their fanciful ideas and just kept their heads down, sticking to the status quo. But one of my online buddies, Kurt, had a theory that it almost seemed like my idea to walk away from my job that was having such a negative effect on me was seriously pissing “something” off. Like, it did not want me to do that, it wanted me to be at that job because the job was destroying me and undoing any positive progress I’d made with myself over the past few years. (there’s no doubt that the one arm scratch I had was one angry looking scratch….! O.o ) So this ties back into what I mentioned earlier, about whether or not something wanted me to be scared by the strange bodily markings and thus back down from whatever funny ideas I was having. I hadn’t considered that possibility until he mentioned it. The only thing I could see was the idea of negative stuff causing the idea to quit and move in the first place, maybe because the end result would be what does me in. Versus the opposite.
Ultimately with my cat being gone now I have to admit, I kind of don’t give a shit anymore either way. :/ I mean, that’s just what it is honestly. And maybe that was the plan all along. I don’t know. The fact is though, we experienced no obstacles getting in our way of moving here, and everything pretty much fell into place once we did, with only minor hiccups in the apartment hunt that all resolved themselves without incident. So the only thing I can surmise is that on a higher level it’s okay for us to be here, for right now. For whatever reason. And meanwhile I’m just taking things one day at a time and soaking up the tropical scenery.
Meanwhile, a couple of trip related synchs that happened during the move itself: The morning of our move there we were cruising on the 64 east, leaving Charlottesville. It was a beautiful clear, blue skied, sunny day. We were finally FINALLY here, moving day, after quitting the job, surviving the summer of Kitty’s cancer and death, giving our apartment notice and trying to just hang tight after she was gone and we still had a month to go, and the apartment needed cleaning from top to bottom. After all that we were finally on the road, cars stuffed to the max, on our way back to south Florida. And about 30 or so miles outside of town I realized I’d forgotten to reset the trip odometer on my car. I wanted to be able to keep track of the miles during our trip. Part of me figured Oh well, too late. The other part of me was like, Reset it anyway, then just remember to add about 30 miles to the total. I wavered back and forth for a few seconds, then finally went ahead and reset it. Flash forward two days later as we’re on the 95 south in Florida, passing through south Palm Beach County, getting close to our exit in Deerfield Beach (where I’d made reservations for two weeks at an efficiency motel along the beach…and the tale of how I even found this place is a whole serendipitous story in itself….!) But in looking at my trip odometer and calculating how far the exit was according to the highway signs, I realized we’d be exiting the off ramp right as my car was at 948 miles exactly. And indeed, that’s exactly how it worked out. We were cruising down the off ramp of exit 42 as the New Order song “True Faith” happened to be playing, with the lyrics “I used to think that the day would never come…” lining up as my odometer read 948 miles. It wasn’t literally 948 miles between VA and our off ramp, but it worked out that way due to my forgetfulness in resetting my odometer. I videod this with my digital camera, and here’s a still frame shot from that vid:
Another synch happened earlier, when we were approaching the Florida state line from Georgia. The song on my MP3 player just happened to be Eminem’s “Without Me,” which had just kicked in, with the beginning lyrics “Guess who’s back….back again….shady’s back…..tell a friend….guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back…..” Right as the “Welcome to Florida” sign was whizzing by on the 95. It just happened to work out that way that I was at the state line crossing back into Florida after being away for 8 years right as the song was going “guess who’s back…” Not planned. In fact I’d skipped past some of the songs on the play list during the hour or so it took us to get through Georgia, and that’s the song that just happened to line up. Yup, guess who’s back in Florida……tell a friend…. O.o )
When I envision myself back in my old life, at my old job, still working next to my former coworker, and all of her endless bullshit, and the bullshit of the people calling in and coming into the office, as winter sets in and it’s fricking cold and wet and gloomy, and we’re in that apartment with its particular ongoing issues, during the long cold winter but Kitty’s dead and not there anymore, I’m just like…….no. Just no fricking way. (especially since me and her had so many little rituals that pertained to the cold weather, from the way she would excitedly wait next to the bed when she’d see and hear me warming up the blankets in the dryer then jump in and snuggle with me as soon as I’d crawl into bed with the warmed up blankets, to always wanting me to put on the heat lamp for her every morning so she could warm up after eating while I did my exercises next to her, etc. I just couldn’t bear to face winter in that apartment without her now, or any season for that matter, as practically every square inch of that apartment had memories associated with her.) What’s weird is that Tom just brought to my attention a letter that singer Fiona Apple wrote to her fans, explaining that she’s going to have to postpone her concert dates because her 14 year old rescue pit bull has taken a turn for the worse with the tumor in her chest. She’d rather be home than on the road, understandably, to spend as much time as she can with her dog before the end. So much of what she described in her letter was similar to my own situation with Kitty, from the way in which she rescued the dog, and how there were times in her life where it was just her and her dog, to the fact that both our pets had tumors in their chests. Same here. Kitty was a rescued abandoned stray from the apartment complex me and my brother were living in back in SoCal, emaciated with fleas and worms, drinking out of puddles, because nobody wanted her (or her stray black cat sister) most likely because they were black. Kitty was apparently known for running into people’s apartments, and the maintenance guy even nicknamed her “Cascade” because she once wedged herself next to somebody’s dishwasher :D (cascade dish washing soap…get it….) but nobody wanted her or would even try to help her until me and my brother Joe came along. (which in the end is just as well…because nobody else wanted her I got to have her.) Joe tried to round up her sister too so we could rescue both, since he’d see her scavenging for food at the dumpster, but unlike Kitty her sister was skittish and would run off. Kitty was unusual in that she was always running towards people, instead of away. But that’s what ultimately saved her life. Black cats are often rejected in our society for idiotic superstitious reasons. It’s a shame too, because they’re one of the smartest, coolest and most affectionate breeds of cat out there as any black cat owner will tell you. And there were definitely those times when Kitty was all I had. Just me and her. And if it hadn’t been for her I don’t know how I would have kept it together. In taking my responsibility for her seriously I stopped being as reckless and crazy as I would have been had I only myself to worry about. She kept my attention focused on her, instead of what was often times scary woo-woo situations and questionable surroundings I found myself in, and she kept me company when I was alone. She wasn’t just a cat, as the people who’ve met her can confirm, she had something extra going on with her that came through in her eyes and facial expressions. “Kitty People Face” as me and my brother used to call it. :)
So when I look back at the job situation and my coworker bumping up her vacation and thus causing me to bump up my quit date out of spite, like a chess move, in the end it means I spent the last three months of Kitty’s life with her, at home, instead of wasting my life away at work. The same way Fiona’s forgoing touring to be at home with her dog. Only in my case I didn’t realize at the time that Kitty only had three months left. So in the end it was serendipitous I guess you could call it. I don’t know what the right word would be, but it was something. So ultimately I’m grateful my coworker did that, and that I responded the way I did. It means I had lots of extra time with Kitty at the end.
Anyway, I put all this out there as I think it’s an interesting example of a confusing situation involving trying to interpret crazy woo-woo indicators. Maybe it could be useful to others. Plus it fills people in on where I’ve been most of the year, since I haven’t really been updating my site anymore. My interpretations could be wrong, but like I said, I kinda just don’t care anymore now that Kitty’s gone. Fuck it.
I’ll conclude this sidetrack foray into the Florida relocation synchs with a prologue that takes places nine years ago. Because earlier I made a point of mentioning that it was Delray Beach specifically that Tom thought would be a good place to go to should we move back. That was for a reason….because back on July 4, 2003, during the first time we were living in Florida, we took a trip up to Delray Beach. According to my log book from that time period I’d already been there once before on my own, when Tom had been back in Iowa dealing with family stuff. But in July, when Tom was back, I awoke on the morning of July 4th with the idea in my head that both Tom and I should go there that day, together, since it was a holiday and all. Why not, right? The perfect thing to do on a hot and sunny day off, cruise up the scenic A1A, see the sights. And so we did. The glimpses of ocean between the nice houses and landscaped lawns with big frondy palm trees, along with the Intercoastal Waterway and the boats and yachts and drawbridge was neat. [Little did I know that 9 years later I’d be living in that exact region, and bicycling up that very same stretch of AIA, over the drawbridge, on a bike that I wouldn’t even buy until 2005 in Virginia, then take with me to Florida….] Then we arrive at the exact section of beach I planned to go to, which I’d already been to before on my own. I parked my car at a parking meter on the street along the beach and we both get out……but wouldn’t you know it….there was a massive ugly dark black cloud right there over the water, moving towards land. At the exact part of Delray Beach that I wanted to go to.
We just stared at this massive black cloud, shaking our heads. I walked over to the water’s edge to look at this big black cloud thing closer, feeling intrigued, like, What the…?! It was barreling rapidly inland towards us, and big drops of rain had already begun falling. We turned to head back to my car. We weren’t pissed or anything, just amused at the ludicrous situation. It got to where we started running through the thick sand, our feet continually sinking down, which is exhausting as anybody who’s tried to do that knows, trying to outrun this big black cloud that was overtaking us with rain. I laughed hysterically, feeling giddy at the whole thing as we huffed and puffed and tried to run. (that’s me….you have to keep a good attitude and humor about weird things. ;D Don’t take it too seriously.) By the time we got into my car it was totally down pouring, and we had to scrap our plans and head back home. But despite being rained out it was still enough to give Tom enough of a glimpse of the Delray/South Palm Beach County area to make an indelible impression on him. He really liked what he saw of that area and for years afterwards he’d comment here and there that he wouldn’t mind living there. And now, nine years later, in looking back on our strange “black cloud of doom” experience chasing after us on the beach he says it’s almost like something wanted to thwart him being able to see that area. Literally chasing us off. But it was too late. He saw enough of it to make an indelible impression. :) And now, that’s where we’re living, south Palm Beach County. Boca Raton to be exact as of October 2012. (the link goes to my Florida pictures on Flickr; I’ve been updating pics continuously as we do more and more things.)