Before 2001 I’d never heard of “the Higher Self,” but once I learned about it, something clicked regarding the concept. For whatever reason, the idea of it all made immediate sense, like remembering something I used to know a long time ago but had since forgotten. The higher self, as I’ve come to understand it, (or, “relearn” it ;) ) is the same thing as our oversoul. It’s us in the “future,” in a very evolved, higher density form. It has some pretty…high up abilities, to put it mildly, as I’ve witnessed from direct experience, and it has the ability to tinker with its own incarnations and help the various versions of itself on particular time lines.
It can also communicate with its own “self” in those various past incarnations….if the past versions of itself attempts to do so. Well I attempted to do so in January of 2003. And I established a connection. It took two weeks of trying to do so every night as I was falling asleep, but once I did, it was like the groove had been established, making future communications much easier, and sometimes near instantaneous.
From what I’ve gotten, our higher selves don’t overtly make their presence known, but if you seek it out and reach for it, it does respond. And in my own personal experience, whenever I’ve connected up to my higher self, its “voice” has always sounded like me, only, older, and more mature. I think it takes on the voice of whoever we happen to be in whatever particular incarnation, but the maturity driving it is still conveyed. The vibe of it is somehttp://www.in2worlds.net/textpattern/index.php?event=list
Articlesthing I have yet to achieve full time in the present, but it’s emotionally detached and neutral…yet simultaneously very empathetic and understanding. It knows, it understands, it sympathizes, because it’s been there and it remembers. But it doesn’t feel the emotion anymore. It’s very calm and detached.
The first time I knowingly communicated with my higher self was in January 2003, but it seems that I connected to it in February of 2002, when still living in Portland. My life in Portland was a bit chaotic at that point. One night in the middle of all the chaos I decided to do an impromptu meditation I guess you could call it, wanting to see if I could connect up to my higher self and maybe get some sort of feedback or input about my life. And what came back to me was an image. No words. Just an image, showing what seemed to be a central glowing energy source off to the right of my field of view, and emanating outwards heading to the left of this glowing energy light source were all these little pinpoints of lights, each one connected to the other, and all connecting and tracing back to this energy light creator source. Those pinpoints of light are us. And the understanding that was telepathically transmitted along with this visual is that we’re all connected and we’re all extensions of this creator source. It has sent extensions, pieces of itself if you will, out there ad infinity to gather up experiences on its behalf.
Considering I’d never had such an experience before, and I wasn’t on drugs and have never taken hallucinogenics, that was something else. I opened my eyes when it was over thinking “WOW!” It was very vivid and the message was clear — we’re all connected, and we’re all living out our lives, gathering up experience as extensions of the creator source.
Well alrighty then. ! I guess that answered my question. I wanted to know about my own personal little reality and instead got an answer that covered the entire Big Scheme of Things.
Then there was the January 2003 encounter. I had no preconceived notions about what to expect, I just knew that I was aiming to connect up with my future, higher density self. As mentioned, every night for nearly two weeks before drifting off to sleep I put out the intention to connect with it. Then finally, I did. I was lying there in bed intending to connect when I segued right on into the connection without consciously realizing right away what was happening. On another level I guess I did recognize, because I launched right into asking it a pressing question about what of all things but — taxes. ! I asked, “Am I going to get in trouble for what I’m doing with my taxes?”
“It all depends on you. You have the final say.”
I knew what it meant. If I focus intently on something, good or bad, and put my focus there, it will happen.
I then wondered about all the crazy things that had been happening to me over the past few months. The neg entity harassment, the abduction craziness, the “Them” sightings, and so on that I mention in my book, “Chasing Phantoms.” I asked a specific question, although I can’t remember the exact wording, (I think it was probably something to the effect of, “Are ‘they’ behind the things that have been happening to me?”) and the answer that came back was,
“Yes, they’re trying to keep you in a fear frequency.”
So I had my confirmation that yes, there really was something behind all the negative craziness, and it was deliberate. To keep me scared, all the time.
Then at that exact moment out of nowhere a car pulls in to park outside my apartment, right outside the window where I was laying. Car stereo pumping, doors slamming, people talking really loudly. It was 2 a.m. and that was definitely not a common occurrence at that hour of the night, and the timing of it all and the fact it happened right outside my particular window was a bit uncanny. Because of the loud noise and distraction, I could feel myself slipping out of the trance-like state, losing the connection. It literally felt like it was tugging the connection apart. I began reaching out for it, to try to hold on to it.
“Is this interference from them?” I asked.
“Yes…”
“To break the connection?”
“Yes…”
And we continued to break apart. I tried to hang onto it. I loved this connection and how it felt. The source was so understanding and patient and kind. I didn’t want to let it go. I was like, AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
And then I popped back up to the surface. Woke from the trance. It’s a completely different feeling from waking from sleep. There’s no words to describe it really.
Despite the brief nature of the conversation, it wasn’t futile. I came away from it with some important insights. For starters, the all important reminder that we attract to ourselves the sorts of experiences we’re going to have in life by our thoughts and focus. So if I wanted to have a problem with taxes, or with anything, then by all means….go for it. It’s up to me. Just think about it hard enough and will that problem into existence!
And then there’s the little bit about the Fear Frequency. The importance of this confirmation/revelation can’t be stressed enough because as a direct result of this insight, I instantly lost the fear I had been experiencing for months. It evaporated literally, overnight. For a short time afterwards things would still come around and try to harass me, but by then it had lost its power. It seemed like a joke now. How could I be scared when it was revealed to me that there’s a “Man Behind the Curtain” orchestrating it all for the sole purpose of keeping my frequency low? So the fear stopped overnight, and eventually the negative happenings trickled off. They gave it up when their schtick was no longer working anymore.
And of course, not overlooking the obvious, I now had confirmation that it was possible to communicate with the higher self. It was there, and it would answer back. We now have a direct phone line to the higher realms. Woohoo!
After that, things really took off. My experiences form the basis of this write up. However, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to talk about “communications with my higher self” because it can come across like I’m crazy. “Voices in the head,” “channeling” and that sort of thing. It’s why I’ve held off on writing about this for the longest time. I don’t channel, have zero interest in ever trying to channel, and the phenomenon isn’t like voices in the head. Voices in the head is intrusive, usually saying negative, harassing things to drive the target into madness and get them to do things to jeopardize themselves or others. When I think of voices in the head I think of demonic possession, schizophrenia, and government black ops mind control projects, the latter of which I’ve written about in my aforementioned book. With my higher self communications, it only answers when called. And even then, I’m not always able to get through the line and make a connection. Again, the voice is always calm, mature, empathetic yet detached, understanding, and sometimes even amused, a far cry from the negative, taunting, harassing voices in the head we typically hear about.
Following are some of my own experiences with communicating with my higher self:
February 9, 2003. In the middle of washing dishes, during a mellow spacey moment, I inadvertently connected to my higher self. I was me…but in the future, and could feel how I saw myself now, and how I had sympathy for me. It wasn’t a conversation, it was more like temporarily connecting up past and present, like becoming my higher self for a moment, and seeing myself now. I was looking back at myself feeling all this sympathy and thinking that this was a really suck-ass existence, in SO many ways, despite the fact that I don’t realize it now and try to find things that are good and beautiful and cool, always plowing forward, not dwelling. I could feel how I will be in the future, and how life will be for me there, whereever that is. I could feel how much better it’ll be, just really unbelievable. It’s very light! And my mindset there is so much more mature, calm, so much more loving and understanding and maternal. No wrestling with 3rd density primate instincts, no longer having to deal with this zoo, and the ugliness it can bring out in you. No abductions, being manipulated and toyed with. I have those good qualities in me now, but in those higher realms, it’s there all the time.
I was surprised at the feelings of sad loving sympathy I had. I’m glad to know that I won’t look back with negative disgust or anything. It was also the first time I was able to lift up and beyond my immediate surroundings and see it differently, from a viewpoint that is normally not available. It wasn’t a “woe is me, feel sorry for me I’m such a victim” mentality, rather, just being able to see what I’m not willing to see as me now, submerged in the middle of it all, and having empathy for what me, and everybody else goes through in being here. So the whole thing was pretty eye opening, seeing my existence from an “outside” point of view.
Sometime in 2003 I was flopped out on my bed one morning, wondering…WHY AM I HERE??? I mentally reached out to my higher self to ask it why. WHY!!! WHY AM I HERE!!!!!!!!! What am I supposed to be doing with myself here anyway! An answer came back, sounding calm but amused. And it wasn’t what I was expecting.
“Different timelines accomplish different things.”
oh. okay. Well, that gave me pause. Short and to the point and not the sort of answer I was necessarily anticipating, as always. I had the basic knowledge of the concept of timelines, in fact it was something I first pondered way back when I was 17. So I understood what this comment was referring to. With that in mind, it means there is no one set purpose for why I’m here. Different versions of myself on different timelines are accomplishing different things, depending on whatever I’m able to do under its particular circumstances and constraints. Interesting!
On a deeper level, this also explains why I feel like the “me” in this reality was tapped on the shoulder one day and got a big ol’ “Tag! You’re it!” as I describe it. Based on the lack of constraints holding me down — no kids, husband, power career, mortgage, car payments, credit card debt, and things that would otherwise lock me down and limit my potential — it seems that it was decided that I was available to pursue something a tad bit higher than whatever I’m doing as the “me’s” in other timelines. A psychic acquaintance of mine even once suggested (a long time after this particular revelation) that I might want to see if I can connect with the other versions of myself on other timelines…I might find it interesting because they’re very different from how the me “over here” turned out.
Then I went on to think about the woo-woo craziness that had been happening to me in life recently, and stuff which seemed to be trying to sabotage things. How do I know that I’m winning a battle against negs that are trying to sabotage things? Maybe I just think that I’m winning and doing good when I’m really not! The answer came back, short and to the point:
“Because you’re still alive. Your cat’s still alive. You’re still with Tom. And you still have your car.”
In order, the four things that matter most for my well being or survival in this reality. They’re all still here, and I’m still kicking. That’s how I can know that it’s so far, so good.
On a related note, another time in late 2002 I was given an insight that “Everything you do every day determines which timeline you wind up on.” Thought that was interesting as well.
I asked why this reality had to have so much craziness and suffering going on. Why is this world the way it is??! And the response that came back — A visual, like a movie. No words, just the movie in my mind showing quick flashes of mass craziness, war, killing, poverty, noise, chaos, peasant looking people and everybody scrambling and clamoring over everybody else, suffering, and all of it tinted in a blue gray colored bleak hue. The flashes whipped before my eyes, and then I was pulled back, up and away from it all. It shrunk smaller and smaller, until I was now hovering above the landscape of Earth below, and everything froze — on pause. Silence. Hovering. Waiting. Then telepathically it was conveyed to me that, “It’s this way because people believe that it has to be this way. They believe that they need to keep coming back, and to suffer.”
!!! WOW, was my response. We’re here because we mistakenly believe that we need to keep coming back. Like falling asleep and forgetting who we are and that it doesn’t have to be this way. Interesting.
May 23, 2004. I had been talking with my boyfriend about the concept of STO (Service to Others) and STS (Service to Self) and evolving through the supposed densities and striving for STO. I’d like to think I’m doing good but who knows, I could be this horrible STS person and not even realize it. I mean, THERE’S a thought. !
But I could feel that I was missing something here. So after we were done talking I laid back and put my pillow over my head and asked to speak with my positive higher self about all of this. Something nagged at me, and so I figuratively picked up the phone and dialed my higher self. Immediately I received a response:
“There’s something you’re missing here….This isn’t all about you.” The thought that was then conveyed to me was that I, like many others, have forgotten that I’m from the Creator Source. I’m here because of the Creator Source, and so therefore, I’m an extension of that. I’m a little piece of the Creator that’s out there representing it, and therefore, I should always remember that and try to live my life and conduct myself with that in mind, acting like the extension of the Creator that I am.
It went on to telepathically convey that all of my focus on MY spiritual evolution and MY development was a little skewed because it wasn’t taking into consideration that this journey isn’t just about me, me, me. I’m here because of something else, on behalf of that something else, and should try to convey that something else in all that I do and think and keep that something else in mind as much as possible.
I was like, “Lightbulb!” going off with a big :) :) It totally made sense.
So then next I tried to imagine myself out there, in the world, encountering a negative person or situation. How would I be able to maintain this mindset when facing off against a negative person? I imagined myself outside of Walgreen’s for instance, facing an obnoxious harasser, since I always seemed to be running into weirdos when going to Walgreens. ;) I could see in my mind the harasser doing his thing. And then I saw my reaction…or lack thereof….which illustrated a newfound mindset of awareness about the harasser, life, reality, etc. The old reaction/response was gone, and in its place was a new understanding, negating the need to even drum up a response method.
Oh! I get it I thought. I won’t “have” to “try” to maintain any mindset. Someday I’ll just know and understand things better, and then the mindset will naturally happen as a result.
Next I wondered about this Creator Source in itself. From all I’ve heard it seems so big, huge, powerful, beyond our comprehension, that there’s no way to even TRY to understand it. So therefore, if it’s sooooo big and soooooo beyond us, is it even aware of me? Of any of us? Is this mindset even relevant to have for a “being” or “source” who may not even be aware of us as individuals??
I wasn’t able to formulate that question in actual words since it was convoluted, and also because I knew that I didn’t have much time before something happened to interfere with this conversation and connection. So I just stopped myself in mid-sentence and focused/projected my thought ball idea like, “Here, you know what I’m trying to ask…”
The answer came right back in an image form. No words, just an image of something it knew that I was already familiar with because it had shown me this two years before, and which concisely summed everything up.
The image was of all those pinpoints of light emanating from the Creator energy light form, all connected, all linking back to the Source.
All is connected, period.
After that my higher self added something on its own, which I thought was interesting. “This [maintaining constant awareness of being an extension of the Creator in all that we say or do] is very difficult to do in 3rd density. But it’s been done before. So it can be done.” The mindset behind the thought transfer was very neutral, very matter-of-fact.
This was the longest and most amazing exchange I ever had with my higher self. I was knowingly, consciously engaging in a back and forth communication, used a telepathic “thought ball” at one point to ask a question, and got responses with visuals and pure telepathy that were short and sweet and to the point. Very concise and condensed. And concerning the most important topic out there too, imo. Not light and fluffy stuff!
December 22, 2004. While getting ready for work on this morning I had stuff on my mind concerning a lot of negative issues one faces here in this reality, things that I myself have gone through but still haven’t been able to reconcile. Stuff like people betraying others or pulling the rug out from under them when that person didn’t do anything to deserve it. The idea of loyalty and devotion, but it not being reciprocated, getting stomped on out of nowhere. And why people do this to each other. I could feel my own bitterness and grudge holding about it all as I reached out to my higher self for some input and feedback, and it came through the line and patiently walked me through to some realizations.
It reminded me (via telepathic thought transfer I guess you could call it) that everybody has their issues, their flaws, their faults. Things happen in life to shape people, and over time it creates issues and faults, and that’s just the way it is. We all have them.
I was still hanging on though to the attitude of being bitter towards people who have done something like this. “They hurt me!!” “They betrayed me!!” “I would never have done that to them!! I wouldn’t have treated them that way!!” etc. Wanting to punish them for it.
What came back was the telepathic idea of, “Think about them as a kid, when they’re a baby, just born. Everybody starts out innocent and happy. Life creates people with issues as adults. You have to understand and accept that. See the flaws as something to have sympathy about, not something to be mad and bitter about.”
I countered with the mindset of, “But I was devoted and loyal and a good friend/girlfriend/daughter and they turned on me and I didn’t do anything to deserve that! They didn’t appreciate me. They took it all for granted!!”
“Yes, they did, and……”
“But it makes me not want to ever be nice to people because they’re just going to turn on me and not appreciate it!!!”
“Uh huh, and
…You have to give without expecting any sort of reciprocation.”
Then what was conveyed all at once was this big thought ball of: You have to just be nice anyway, keep on keepin’ on. Just keep being as good and nice as possible. If someone turns on you…so be it. Life has shaped them, you can’t blame them or hold it against them or be angry or bitter about it. See the situation for what it is. If someone turns on you or betrays you, shrug your shoulders, have understanding about what created it, and move along. Don’t take on others’ issues. Don’t take it personal.
So, not suppressing anger…but rather, not having it at all…due to understanding.
After this exchange where my higher self walked me through things and fed me telepathic insights it was like a weight had been lifted off of me, and things that I had been holding onto, being bitter about, disintegrated.
Probably around June of 2006 I discovered that a woman leader of a particular group that had a falling out with my boyfriend several years before, engaging in character assassination and smear campaign against him over the ‘net, (and even a little bit with me as well) was STILL to this day talking smack about him on her website forum. He doesn’t talk about her, but there she is, still discussing him, trying to smear him. It wasn’t the first time she’d brought him up to talk smack about, and it annoyed me any time I became aware of it. But THIS time….whoa nelly. It was like something came over me. I completely FLIPPED OUT. My boyfriend later joked about it, imitating the sound of an alarm going off for a nuclear reactor meltdown, because that’s how I felt. Outwardly I began ranting about her, while inside I began to rage at this woman, seething with the most intense hatred imaginable, with out of control hate thoughts and “hate darts” shooting from me, taking on a life of its own. So much so that I could feel it escalating beyond my control like a snowball rolling down a mountain. In about another two seconds I was going to lose all control over these thoughts and very ugly things were going to transpire as a result. I can’t remember the last time I ever became that way, so it is almost like something took over and began “influencing” me, amping me up and fanning the flames of an already precarious situation. As I felt these thoughts taking over and consuming me, I knew I had to reign it in and put a stop to it…but I couldn’t. So I squeaked out a “HELP!” mayday signal directed loud and clear to my higher self. Make this stop, because this is NOT good!! was the distress signal.
Right then, I felt a force field of some sort, I don’t know how else to describe it, passing down through my body. It was like a plane of energy, horizontal to the floor, moving from the ceiling downwards through my body. In the time it took to span down, the out of control anger and hatred I was feeling instantly stopped. Simultaneously as this was happening, I heard my higher self say, “shhhhh…” in a soothing (not condescending) way, followed with “I understand why you’re angry, although I don’t feel it myself…” So imagine going from the most amped up rage imaginable to absolutely calm blankness in the span of about two seconds. !! Well, that’s what happened. My rant trailed off abruptly as I looked around, feeling confused. There was no more anger and hatred driving it, so there was no reason to even finish the rant. I just sat there confused and blank for a few seconds, looking around, processing what had just happened. Then it began kicking in, and all I could think was WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only was the rage and hatred completely gone, but it had also taken the liberty of removing all traces of any lingering anger towards this woman and her group and the things they’ve done. Now I just felt nothing about it. Blank. Calm. Cool! That was certainly better than the alternative. I knew that those crazy amped up hate feelings were wrong, it’s NOT what I’m aiming for in life, so I’m glad that I had an established connection to something positive that could instantly intervene like that and help when asked.
****
Growing up, I was taught about the concept of “God” and the story of Jesus by my parents who had been raised Catholic. They were disenchanted with Catholicism and so as a result, I wasn’t raised with religion and we didn’t go to church when I was child. (my mom later brought me and my brother when I was 15 and he was 9 during my parents’ divorce.) But I had been given the basics about things. Mostly it was “God is watching you!” and warnings to be good or “God will punish you!” from my Mom. Many times growing up, and even into my 20’s I would send out prayer requests, directing my thoughts at this God being as I was taught about, or try to connect to God, and feel the presence of something higher. But never once did I ever receive anything back. Not even a smidgeon of anything, even in my darkest most despondent moments when I needed it the most, and boy was I looking to feel something…anything…that indicated that I wasn’t alone in this reality, left to fend for myself. Growing up I felt so alone, so abandoned, left in this reality without a support system. But that really did seem to be what was happening here, because no matter what I’d done or how hard I tried, I never once felt the presence of anything. So I had to conclude…there’s nothing out there looking out for me. It’s just me, and we really are alone here. oh well. And it did make me stronger, because if there’s nothing higher, and it’s just me, then I have to make sure I take care of myself. Because nobody else is going to.
However, there was one curious incident that gave me pause, which occurred when I was 19. It was during a dark and difficult time in my life, when I lived alone, working three jobs at 85 hours a week, with no family in my life, and whatever friends now gone, scattered to the wind, and now broken up with my boyfriend. I didn’t even have my then cat anymore, because I was working too much to be able to keep her. So I was completely and utterly alone in every way imaginable now. A very bad situation, and so I found myself crying on my bed one night, completely despondent about it all. That’s when on some other level I became aware of “something,” and which stopped me crying right in mid sniffle. I turned and looked up and around the air, searching, curiously. “???” Right then, I had the very clear and distinct thought go through my mind, “There’s a tug of war going on for you.” That was it. There’s a tug of war going on, for me. I frowned, looking around the empty air, not hearing anything, or sensing anything else. It took the wind out of my despondent sails, so I stopped crying, wiped my face, sat up and went back about my business.
At that point in my life I was a scaredy cat when it came to dealing with anything that was even remotely paranormal. The slightest thing pertaining to the “weird” would terrorize me and paralyze me with fear, which is probably why “stuff” held back and didn’t make its presence known to me. I wasn’t asking for it, and I literally couldn’t have handled it anyway. It was a very slow, step by step process to get me where I am now, complete with being dunked head first into freezing cold water, figuratively speaking, back in 2000, during a crazy time period which I outline in my write up called The Vortex. I had been inching closer to being able to handle stuff, and then in 2000 I was just plunked the rest of the way in very abruptly, almost as if something decided, “Hey! There’s no more time! Enough with the inch by inch! You need to learn the rest right NOW, crash course, here you go!” ;)
And now at this juncture, here I am, old pro expert on the paranormal, courtesy of “The Vortex” and having had multiple chats with my higher self like it’s nothing. Life is a funny thing. ;)
It is kind of amazing though that in all the years of trying to connect with God as it’s taught in our mainstream society that I came back empty handed every time, and could feel that I was only talking to myself. But when I attempted to communicate to my own higher self oversoul, the higher density evolved “me” in the “future”…something came back, loud and clear, and with the core message involving the importance of being connected to the creator source. Kind of an irony there. ;) And the spiritual concepts that it’s conveyed — pretty high level ideas and ways of being, versus the scare tactics and lies that one finds with most mainstream religions designed to disempower people.
I don’t know if one even can “pray” to the Creator Source. But maybe we don’t have to, if we realize that we’re part of it and it’s already in us. There does seem to be a higher evolved “us” in the “future” that we can connect to though for helpful feedback and insight. And in doing so, you’re strengthening your ties to it, further ensuring that you can become it. It reinforces that future you, you could say.
Since the concept of the higher self and what it represents is an important one, I’m finally putting my experiences with it all out there, in the hopes that maybe it can inspire others to also reach out and try to connect with their own.